Love Will Not Cure You (2021)
Gallery Note:
Have you ever been consumed by love? A love so powerful it makes you believe in magic? A love so gravitational it makes you lose all sense of reality? Lost yourself to keep someone else? Made yourself miserable to keep them happy? Walked on eggshells 24/7? Been scared of the person you love?
What makes you think you deserve such abuse? (You don’t)
It all felt so right…until it didn’t Butterflies and anxiety felt indistinguishable. I was an easy target. Her next prey. She said everything I wanted to hear. Everything to keep me. Everything to make me feel like I was the only one with which she’d ever experienced such a profound love. Until she fell in love with someone else. Twice. I was just another notch in the belt.
This series is a statement for those who feel trapped. For anyone who has shrunk themselves to avoid any type of violence. If you’ve lost touch with who you are, chances are the people who love you are worried about you, waiting for you. They’ll stand by you even when you can’t stand up for yourself. I stayed longer than I “Should have” but I’m also grateful because it taught me how I will never allow anyone such power over my peace. Living with an abusive partner is a terrifying reality many face. Escape is possible, even when it feels it isn’t If you’re scared to rock the boat, you’re not alone. Don’t be ashamed of what you’ve had to do to survive.
You deserve safety.
In crafting this series I’ve been able to reflect on the darkest time of my life with such gratitude for my freedom. Since her chapter closed, I’ve been able to curate such joy in all aspects of my life. Pursuing my passions, connecting with incredible loving people, enjoying my own home. I’m so grateful. I am free.
I chose the square format for each of these new pieces because this is the side of our relationship Instagram didn’t see. Everyone thought we were going to get married. Long, sappy, public love letters back and forth, to make up for the daily yelling, crying, and psychological abuse. We’d post loving photos to convince everyone (and each other) that it was worth staying. Love takes work, but it shouldn’t be draining. If you know someone who is “in the happiest relationship ever” chances are they’re not obsessively posting it all over Instagram. they’re actually enjoying each other’s company. Therapy is a must. If you’re with someone who refuses to admit they need help, run. Their wounds will bleed all over you. That is not your burden to bear. Personality disorders don’t just disappear. We are ALL responsible for our own healing. All this to say, I’m so thankful for my network and their unwavering support. Thank you for welcoming me back into your arms when she made me feel so alone.
H: Thank you for teaching me what I deserve. Thank you for making me sink so low that I now know how high I can soar without you. Love will not cure you. Finding your 6th soulmate in 3 years will not heal your deep wounds. You won’t stop the pattern of trauma bonding until you acknowledge it. She’ll be your everything, until she isn’t. It’ll be easier to make her feel like shit about herself than to face your own demons. When you’re left alone and have to face yourself, you won’t want to look in the mirror. You can’t stand that your exes have bonded over surviving you. It’s not “talking shit” when it’s the truth. All this to say, I sincerely hope she doesn’t lose herself trying to save you.
M: We’ll be here for you when you need support. You and your kid deserve safety.